Favre is the Master of Puppets

Lord Favre is The Master of Puppets (In my opinion, the best Metallica album)....

I was awakened by a massive amount of texts this morning that would have made Snooky proud, and I knew what kind of a day it would be when the first one was from my wife, via her Packer fan boss, who no doubt had a stiffy thinking today would be the day. Apparently he felt the need to tell me Favre would announce his retirement at noon. Wishful thinking on his part.

So just to make sure I wasn't dreaming, I dragged myself to my computer and whatdya know, reports from the Strib via Twitter that Favre had texted teamates that he was retiring.

Read that again......VIA TWITTER THAT HE TEXTED TEAMATES...........if you could go back in time and go up to Bud Grant on a hot August day and say something like that to him, he'd stare a hole through you and possibly burn a hole in your head.

This is the information age, and with that also the de-information age, where technology blurs the mind from rationale thinking and clouds what is real and what is fake. I have no idea if Favre actually texted any teamates, for all we know it could have been made up, or maybe he really did. Who the F knows?

Let me tell you who WANTS to know. ESPN. Thats right. They sit in their cubicles all day long stroking themselves and when something like this breaks they make a mess all over the office. Then they immediately say that "NFL Reports say Favre to Retire" without bothering to fact check. I guess if it's online it must be true. You would have thought they might have learned something last year. I guess Adam Shefter was too busy trying to get his nose out of the ESPN suits collective asses to realize he was made a fool of.

But you know, the more I think about it, is ESPN really to blame? Or are we all just puppets on a string? Are they pulling our strings like Favre seems to be pulling theirs? Everytime you go to an ESPN website or link, they make money. Thats how it works. Every time you turn on the TV to watch them, listen to them on the radio. They make money. Thats the entertainment business.

It was funny to see so many non-Viking fans get all giddy today. The best thing that can happen to a Packers fan or any other fan from the division is if Favre stays on the tractor. The humiliation Packer fans experienced last year was brutal, the whole state was on suicide watch, twice. And it was also humorous to see the reaction of Viking fans, I heard a few people at work say "How could I watch the Vikings again if he's done" Really? Get the hell off the bandwagon, go back to picking apples on Sunday afternoons with your lame ass kids. Part of me relishes in the fact that certain Vikings fans struggle EVERY SINGLE YEAR, even if we have a small college guy named Tarvaris.

So fast forward to the end of the day, things are starting to calm down a bit, and were right back where we started. More speculation. Favre the number one story. Different offseason, same story, different body part, same ESPN wishful thinking, same opposing fans wishful thinking, same Vikings brass Favre ass kissing, same Vegas lines moving.

One thing that we all know for sure is that there's never a dull moment with Favre, he's probably sitting on his deck drinking a cold beer laughing at us all and listening to The Master of Puppets.